If only I was in a different country, another continent.  Then maybe this would look romantic, or beautiful, exotic at least.  At the end of the day you just can’t use any of those adjectives to describe a British motorway, no matter how low the sun is shining in your face.

Every day the earth puts on a spectacle, two shows for us.  Two miracles, every day.  But you were bought up to demand more.  You think you deserve so much, as if it is your birth-right to find a pot of gold under a rainbow, to be granted happiness without effort, to be given a comfortable home and a loving family without even having to leave the house…

Why don’t you stop?  Stop.  Stop demanding a better life and start to appreciate all that is already amazing in this world.  Two miracles a day: the sun rises and the sun sets.

So what?  That’s just the way it is, why should I give it a second thought?

Because if you knew how incredible the world was you would never demand pocket money ever again.  You would never cry because you couldn’t have that extra bag of sweets at the shop.  You would never stamp your foot and protest against homework.  You would never be angry for not getting what you want because you would know that it was inconsequential.

Maybe we should celebrate life by gathering together and welcoming the sun every morning, thanking the great ball of burning gas for giving us life, warmth, light.  Then enjoy the day and gather again at night to say a temporary goodbye, time to rest so we can wake again to greet our god at the sun’s rising.  If we did that every day nobody would have anything to complain about.  But we don’t.  Why not?  That’s what’s wrong with modern society, no gratefulness, just selfish demands.

Be thankful for life.  It will make you instantly happier.  Start by thanking the sun.  It is Solstice!

– Kuj


What is god?

The following is something I wrote many years ago following a dream in which I was shown a field at sunset when everyone had stopped working.  The image was all red and orange, warm and bright like a painting.  I was told this was god.  I remember it vividly now.  When I woke up, this is what I wrote.

Please understand that when I write god I speak of no specific deity presented in any given religion or belief.  I have always had god with me and understood that it is too much to put into words or into one religion’s exact depiction.  The important thing to remember is that god is not a human thing that looks or sounds a certain way.  God cannot be defined by anything or anyone.  For me, god is the breath of life, the spirit of us all, given by the great Mother, our creator.  God is her power in the world.

I believe it is vital to be a spiritual person.  And ever so much more important to be a spiritual person than to be a religious person.

I have seen god.  The image of which I hope to never forget, yet I fear that my mind will haze over the glory of it.  Each time I try to remember, I know that my mind does not do justice to the image. If I had taken a photograph, no one would believe me when I told them that I had a picture of god.  No drawing, no picture, no photograph could revive the beauty of that moment.  So I took no photograph, and now I draw no picture.  Instead, I paint a picture in your mind, with my words.  For it was in my mind that I saw god, in a dream.

I do not remember the events that led up to me seeing god, nor do I remember what happened afterwards.  I remember only seeing the most beautiful sight I ever saw and being told that it was god.  I believe that everyone will see god at least once in their lives and I also believe that everyone will see god differently.  God appears differently to all of us, according to our own selves, our own minds, our own hearts and souls.

When I saw god, it was in the image of what I find most beautiful in all creation: the sunset in a sky of red and gold over a field at the end of the day.  God is the sunset, god is the sky, god is the golden field, god is the stationary wooden carts.  God is the labour of the people, god is the beauty of creation.  God is the air, god is the sea, god is the sky.  God is everywhere and everything.  God is in everyone and everything and is in me too.  God is the name of the essence and the energy of life; what creates and what provides.

When I saw god for the first time, I stood still and I looked.  My guide, to the right of me, spreading his arm wide, gestured to the beauty before my eyes and said to me: “That is god.”  I did not stir; I did not flinch.  I did not breathe; I did not sigh.  I did not scream or shout or close my eyes.  I said nothing.

I looked.  And I saw.

– Kuj

Mother Nature vs. Man

The following was written whilst I was on a retreat at Worth Abbey in West Sussex (25/02/12).  During my time there I learned many important things about life generally and about myself.  I also had several “eureka” or “epiphany” moments…

I’ve just realised what I want with my life.  I want to be outside in the wild, with nature.  Live in the woods, eat wild fruit, that is what I want.  I would not even miss technology.  Man has created awesome stuff but when it comes to it, it is incomparable to what god has made for us.  The world is the most amazing thing and we should be here to appreciate and enjoy it, but we are destroying it.  We need to go back to basics – but this is virtually impossible now.  People cannot see that they don’t need all of this man-made stuff.  It is produced for laziness and convenience and it blocks our view of true perfection, true beauty, that is in the trees, the grass, the sea, every plant, every insect and every animal.  A car is not beautiful, neither is an airplane.  So why do we have them?  God must have known this was going to happen surely?

They say our downfall began when we first made fire.  Maybe.  I happen to believe it was somewhat later.  But technology will only ever advance.  There can be no regression, no return.  Slowly, the world is dying, it is suffocating.  But how can we turn back?  How can we save it?  The only true way would be to return to self-sufficiency, hunting, foraging.  But this is not an option – why live a hard life when we can live an easy one?  Because what is the point now?  Our lives have no meaning if they revolve around material objects.  But before that happened, when we spent all day seeking the means to live, hunting for food, searching for water, that was the meaning of life: living, loving, sharing happiness and laughter.  There is nothing else you could possibly need.  Happiness is the aim of life but these things you surround yourself with now cannot bring happiness.  Why would we rather sit in a room watching TV than going out and having our own adventures?

We have ways of making things that mean the power of men doesn’t have to put in effort – oil, gas, coal.  A boat did no harm to the planet until men ceased to row it and it was instead harnessed by these limited natural resources.

But our earth won’t give up that easily.  It will outlast us.  When we run out and fall into darkness, the earth will linger on.  Maybe civilization will begin again, or maybe humans will cease to exist forever.

– Kuj

Who do you worship?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines worship as: “the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity:worship of the Mother Goddess.”

Surely such an expression also would involve gratefulness for something the deity has done for you or worship is done with the aim of showing your love and appreciation of the deity in the hope that they will reciprocate this by providing sun and rain, and hence food.

Why are we all sitting around worshipping things and people that do nothing for us?  Why are people obsessed with celebrities who get given large amounts of money for having no skill and then spend it on stupid things like fake tan and plastic surgery?  Why are you encouraging your children to look up to these people?  You gain nothing from these people; you just throw your time and money at them and shout ‘give me more’.  Surely you should worship something/someone because you’re thankful for what they have given you?

The only thing that has given you something is the earth.  The earth gives each of us the greatest gift: life.  Not just life but also the tools we need to sustain life: sunshine, water, food, and plenty of things to do to entertain ourselves.   Climb a tree, walk up a mountain, swim down a river, eat delicious fresh food, dance through the long grass, admire butterflies and birds, swim alongside dolphins and brightly coloured fish.  And if all that doesn’t fill up your day, tell stories, make love, make music, sleep, watch the sunset.  Wouldn’t you love it if you could spend your life like this?  Without going to the office, or paying tax, or sitting in traffic for hours.

Worship mother earth for she gives you all you need. 

Stop worshipping celebrities and people with lots of money.  Money means nothing.  When you die, the great mother will spit out your remains if you try and take your money with you…

You soul is not measured by how much green/blue/brown linen you have in your bank account (on second thoughts, you might want to check that, you’ve probably only got a number on a computer screen…but that is a rant for another time).  Your soul is measured by your spiritual wealth: the exquisiteness of your character, the love you share with yourself and others, your appreciation of the world and gratefulness for life.  The happiest people in this world are not the ones with the most money or the biggest TVs or the fastest cars.  The happiest people are the ones that have learnt the hard way that life can do a big shit on your head but it’s up to you to wash it off, push it out of your mind, stand up straight and smile, appreciate the good things that are, and breathe out the negativity, letting it go.  Forgive, forget.  Holding onto the past achieves nothing but regret, sadness and unnecessary anger.  If something is not going to enhance your existence, why are you even still thinking about it?

Sometimes I wonder if people even want to be happy.  I see people who claim to be depressed but they’re not interested in listening to a word of my advice.  Maybe all the attention they receive from their depression makes them happy.  At the end of the day, there’s not a lot I can do to make people happy.  I can tell you the methods I use to be happy, but it’s up to you to utilize them.  And it isn’t easy.  It requires effort, but everything worthwhile in life requires effort.  Nothing’s ever easy.  Even being in love.  But it is free.  The things you really want in life are free: love, family, friends, laughter, happiness, endless smiles, singing and dancing.  You cannot buy those things.  Thank goodness…there’s no way you could put a price on happiness.

– Kuj

Happy day or sad day?

There’s a funny thing about being apart from someone you love.  It’s something you have to be patient about, which is not always easy.  When you really want something, and you want it all the time, it’s difficult when you have to wait a long time for it.  It’s really all about being patient.

This is what you have to teach yourself how to do when your boyfriend goes far away.  That’s how you get through it.  Instead of repeatedly asking why he isn’t there, you must tell yourself that it isn’t forever, that you will see him again and one day you will get to see him all the time.  And then you’ll probably get sick to death of him so you should make the most of being away from him now.  (This is what you tell yourself, regardless of what you’re really thinking.  Because this is all you can afford to think.)

What you think is what is and therefore you can make the separation whatever you want it to be.  Instead of being disappointed that you only get to see him for a few days at a time with long gaps in between rather than every day, you have to be thankful that you can have those few days together.

Here’s my way of looking at life:

(Please note: this works for me…I’m not saying it’s definitely going to make anyone else happy but the way I see it, happiness is a state of mind which means that you can control it yourself, by choosing what to think and how to perceive life.)

What do you want in life?

To be happy.

So make that the aim of every day.  Forget all the other crap.  Stop thinking stupid things about wishing you were with someone you can’t be with in the present moment or wishing you were doing something you can’t be doing.  It’s ok to dream and make plans for the future, but don’t spend your life wishing you were somewhere else.  Make happiness your focus.  There are other ways of being happy other than being with this person or in this other place.   You can actually be happy in any given situation.  The key is in your mind, your thoughts.

What do you need to do to be happy?

I’d never really even had to think about this until I became unhappy.  I’d never been unhappy before.  I’d been sad on certain occasions but never hating life because I was doing something I didn’t want to be doing.  Even during my first year of university, I was happy even though I’d never wanted to go to university.

Like I said, happiness is a state of mind and therefore you should be able to achieve it in your head alone, regardless of external circumstances.  Here are some things I’ve learnt about happiness:

One: happiness cannot be bought about by money.  Throw your money out of the window now (metaphorically speaking, that is.  If you have an overload of the linen/paper/plastic rectangles then do something useful with it – maybe set up an orphanage/build a well in a village somewhere/sort out world politics, whatever you feel capable of.)

Money and happiness = not linked at all.

Money and laziness = hand in hand.

Laziness and unhappiness = also hand in hand.  (Life seems pointless when you have nothing to do with yourself.  You sit on your ass all day and breed misery in your mind.)

Two: happiness is a choice, it’s a decision you make, every single day.  Like deciding what dress to wear.

Pink dress or blue dress?

Happy day or sad day?

If you want to be happy, you can be.  It’s really as simple as that.  Just choose to be happy and then make it happen.

Three: happiness can easily be bought about by living in the moment.  Stop thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.  Think about them when you get there, when it’s actually happening.  Right now, what are you doing?  If you’re doing something necessary and unpleasant (examples may include going to work/shopping/exercise/listening to someone boring talk at you…), focus on that.  Don’t think about how much you can’t wait to get out of there.  Think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.  Remember that everything happens for a reason.  Think of all the good things about it: what it’s useful for, how it’s going to help someone/something, how the sooner you stop thinking about hating it and you get on with doing it, the sooner it will be over.  Banish any negative thoughts.  Don’t let them wander into your head.  If you’re bored with it, take a break and go back to it fresh.  But do not sit there thinking and thinking about how much you hate it.  Way to make yourself miserable…  Also I’d like to point out the obvious thing here: if you’re thinking about your job and hate it that much, every single day then do something about it! Find a job you enjoy doing.  Or alternatively, run away and live in the jungle.

Four: happiness isn’t about getting what you want; it’s about wanting what you have.  This one is so true.  If you spend your whole life lusting after something else, how do you ever intend to be happy?  Once you get it you’ll be after the next thing.  What have you got now that’s good?  Sure I’m 3000 miles away from my boyfriend BUT I get to spend a whole week with my fabulous sister.  And I wouldn’t change that because I love her and I hardly ever get to see her.  My time with the boyfriend will come, but right now I want to enjoy my time with my sister.

If you’re living in the here and now, is it really patience you need to practise?  Because if you live in the moment, you’re not waiting for anything to happen because you know everything will happen in its natural and given order.  There will be moments when you’re utterly convinced that you can’t do it any more but have faith in yourself.  Make happiness your aim.

My belief is that if you’re not going to live a happy life why bother living at all?  The only thing you can really achieve in life is enjoyment.  When you die you cannot take your money with you, or your television or your boat or your expensive car.  But you can take happiness with you because happiness weaves itself into your soul.  It is your greatest achievement, your greatest gift.

– Kuj